Is This As Good As It Gets?
Often we dream about how amazing it will be we finally arrive at our goal. We can finally be happy and proud. But do our outside circumstances really determine our happiness?
When Your Ship Finally Comes In
Just imagine it. What does it look like for you? Maybe you dream of being rich, having a wildly successful business or owning an amazing home. Maybe you dream of getting married to the love of your life and finally having a traveling companion and confidante. Maybe your dream is being thin, finally comfortable in your own skin and in everything you try on. It seems logical, that happiness and joy would come when you reach your goals.
Happiness and joy are feelings that are actually caused by thoughts we are having in the present moment. They are not caused by outside circumstances.
We all know people who have tons of money or a beautiful home that are crazy unhappy. We also know that not every model or actress or skinny person is ecstatic. In addition, there are many married people who are are miserable. The bottom line is circumstances outside of us are neutral and don’t bring us happiness or sadness. It’s our thoughts that cause our feelings.
We must never believe the illusion that the future is going to be better than what is going on right now.
The Present Moment
It turns out, the present moment is all we really have. That's why so many thought leaders admonish us to “be here now.” If it isn’t going to get any better than this, you feel more motivated to finding your bliss right now. You can look at your present surroundings and think thoughts that bring contentment and peace.
Why wait to love up on yourself till you weigh less. Why do you think you will feel better about yourself when you are thin? Really think about it. How genius would it be to find the love right now?
Decide now that your worth is 100% and non-negotiable and has nothing to do your size.
Our culture and media lead us to believe that our problems will be solved when we lose the weight or finally find our true love. Watch any movie or advertisement. We trade our current happiness for some future possibility. We think, “I can’t wait till..."
Why do we think it will be easier to love ourselves and everyone will love us better when we're skinny or rich? Maybe, because we will have earned it? We will have hustled? But that simply isn’t how we gain our value or worth. We decide it about ourselves, regardless of our looks or weight or net worth or holdings or accomplishments. Our brain is clever and will always keep moving the mark. Skinny turns out to never be enough, neither does wealth.
Your Capacity for Joy Right Now is 100%
Your outside circumstances don’t change that number. Turns out, you can be fully content right here, right now. It is your thoughts that determine how you feel. You can quit telling yourself the lie that your happiness lies in the accomplishment of some future goal. It is amazing to find wealth and a healthy body and your true love—but you don’t have to wait till then to be happy.
Decide that you can find your bliss in the pedestrian, not the extravagant. Maybe you feel that squeeze of true love when you think about how much you love a child. What about that shiver of delight in the early morning, when you feel grateful for your whole incredibly messy life. Your capacity for joy will never be any greater than right now. Time to think about that.